Forgetting How to Dream
by MissScaryKitty
Summary: The price for stealing other people's dreams is losing the ability to have your own. What is left for an architect who can no longer dream? Arthur/OC


**Forgetting How to Dream**

I reach into my pocket and grab my totem. I feel for the uneven seam made from the imperfect die in which my pewter soldier was cast. And I realize it is not there. I am dreaming. That's when I wake up and realize I am laying on my carpet in my cluttered apartment, alone. Immediately sitting up, I fold my legs into my chest and cry.

Every time I dream about Arthur, I think it is real. And when the dream is over, that feeling I have when I'm with him goes away and I am defeated. I realize that he never loved me and we never had a relationship… not like the ones we had in my dreams. Then the next night it will start all over again and we'll be together again. And then I'll find out that none of it is true… that Arthur was just a projection.

Tears roll down my cheeks and I wipe them away in frustration. Arthur started this… in the middle of a mission, in the center of a dream. I never saw it coming… he leaned in and kissed me full on the lips. And all I did was gasp and pull away. Not because I was mad, but he didn't know that. He apologized and I blushed and tried to explain. I wanted to tell him not to apologize. That's when a projection shot me in the forehead. I woke up. As I waited for the others to come out from the mission I watched Arthur sleeping peacefully in the covered lawn chair. I wondered if he would ever kiss me again. He didn't. And I would dream about him for many nights thereafter… including tonight.

He kissed me. Why should I be the one in pain, dreaming about him? It hurts and yet there is nothing I can do. Arthur is thousands of miles away in Milan or Venice or wherever his paycheck took him. And I am stateside pathetically waiting for the holidays to come around so I can see my family once more.

I wish I had asked him why he kissed me. But I was shy, and he never mentioned it after that. We were on a job.

The next night…

I stopped dreaming. They had warned me that it would happen… Cobb in particular. I said that I didn't care. Now I think I do. There's a sinking feeling in my gut and an empty place in my chest. I lost something that people should never be able to lose. And it feels horrible… lonely. Then I think of Arthur. And I pull out the card he gave me from under a pile of letters, bills, and magazines. I ask myself if it's an excuse to call him. I'm not sure. I need someone who'll understand but I don't think of calling Eames or Cobb. I think of Arthur… only Arthur. I'm still not sure if it's an excuse to call, but I do. Before I lose my nerve I dial the number on the card and press send. There's no turning back now with the phone ringing.

"Hello?" His voice is quiet and soothing. And I haven't heard it in a while.

"Arthur? It's Dianne."

"Dianne, are you okay?" He asks, concerned.

"I don't really know." I press my lips together, sitting up cross-legged. "I think I'm alright… it's just that I stopped dreaming."

"I'm sorry Dianne…" he empathized. I already felt a little better. "When did this happen?"

"Tonight," I say resting my arms atop the coffee table. "It feels so empty… I didn't know it would feel this way."

"Dianne…" His voice is a whisper and I know he feels horrible. "Do you still live in that place in Chicago?"

"Yes." I answer, confused.

"Is it alright if I come over?" He was here… in Chicago. I'm not sure if I should be elated or terrified. I'm a bit of both at the moment.

"Would you?" I ask.

"Yes… If you don't mind." He says cautiously. Was he thinking about our kiss?

"No, I don't mind," I say. "Please come over."

A half an hour passes and then I hear a knock at my door. Leaving my brewing pot of coffee, I make my way to the front door. There's a nervous lump in my stomach. Taking a deep breath I open the door. There he is, looking immaculate in his three piece suit, standing in my doorway. Arthur says hello and I smile, inviting him in. I want to apologize for my rumpled appearance but I don't.

We talk and I pour him a cup of coffee. I forgot how easy it is for me to talk to him.

"I really don't know what to think." I say as we both sit down on my couch. "Should I hook up to the machine?"

"I wouldn't recommend it. Using it to dream can become very dangerous."

I nod my head, taking another sip of my coffee. I can't help but glance over at his face. I haven't seen it in a while and I can't stop staring. I catch him looking at my eclectic décor and I think I see a hint of a smile on his face. His eyes fall on me now.

"You're going to feel this way for a while, but it gets better." He promises me. I am comforted by his words. And I think that perhaps that's what I need right now, for him to comfort me.

"Thank you…" I begin, not sure of what I want to say exactly. "I'm really glad you came. Really, it means a lot to me."

I gently place my hand on his. And his fingers wrap around my smaller ones. They're large and warm. And his touch feels wonderful.

"I wanted to come." He says warmly, gazing down at me. I sense he wants to be holding my hand, that he likes it. And I want to show him that I want more. That it is okay to touch me.

Putting my hand in my pocket, I feel the seam on my pewter soldier just to be sure. Then I lean in closer to him. My hand slides across his chest to hold onto his shoulder. And he lightly holds my waist, guiding me closer to him. Our lips meet and we are wrapped up in each other's warmth. I don't pull away, and he doesn't let me go.

I realize that Arthur might actually stay. And that I wouldn't wake up alone the next day. I try to hold back a smile as I kiss him but I can't. Then I see that he is smiling too. And then he folds me in his arms. And I bury my face into his neck.

"Do you want me to stay?" He whispers as he lightly strokes my hair.

"Yes…" I say. I place a kiss on his neck, "More than anything."

* * *

AN: I hoped you enjoyed this short story. If you liked it I might post more depending on how it's recieved. Please leave a review, and thank you for reading.


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